As we get older, and hopefully wiser, we enter new worlds, create new worlds and overall make decisions with eyes wide open.
I have been doing a lot of thinking, as well as acting upon thoughts, but mostly, I've come face to face with who I can trust and who I can't.
Being a rather open and honest human being, a large part of my life has been lived most of the times in a rather naive state. In other words, more harshly, I didn't realize I was getting fucked over until I was "fucked over".
Thing is, it's my fault for putting trust into people so quickly. At least I can look on it in a positive light; I learned a helluva lot out of my experiences and I look back on my "mistakes" with fond memories. After all I wouldn't be here if I hadn't done what I did. But my morals, principles and my tastes have strengthened throughout the years of battle and euphoria and thus I realize I deserve the best of everything. Because I am awesome and I only want to share my awesomeness with other awesome people who really do appreciate who I am.
This includes old friends and new ones and newer ones to come. We've all been there when people grow apart. All of a sudden you're not in sync with this person anymore, you're just missing the point of each others' sentences and really, you don't have that much in common anymore. That's totally cool. This happens, nothing to be worried about. Thing is, I tend to hold onto the past, A LOT! The past seems to be my present most of the time and I'm telling you, although I'm physically moving forward, I'm not quite there all the time mentally. What to do? Clean the cobwebs out! Let go. Look back with a fond heart, but don't long for it, it's gone.
Now, old friends who have grown apart can become new friends, if they meet you on the other side, on equal terms. Otherwise it's best to just... let... go...of...them...
This was one of the subjects I had with a girlfriend of mine over lunch. Where is the "sisterhood" everyone's preaching about she asked me? I nodded and replied I didn't know. As a woman, to get to the "top" where the majority of the male sex seems to be hanging out, women become frustrated and begin competition amongst themselves. If you imagine a two layered cake, Men on the top bun and Women on the bottom smooshed in with the icing, you'd think we'd help one another get to the top faster instead of squabbling for the attention. And what happens? One woman gets through, the others, disappointed and bitter, turn to witches.
No good girlfriend! There are really only a handful of people (male and female) who I would really help out if it came down to it. Because I trust them. And it's true, when trust is broken, very rarely can it be fixed. And this is why I've made the decision to let go of some people.
And with every new spring, you gotta clean out your house from the stuffy winters. And that's what I'm doing. We all deserve the best, and sometimes we have to remind ourselves what the best for ourselves really is. And yea, I've been fooled so many times by those who claim to be my friend, only to find out they had other intentions. It's what I get for carrying my heart on my sleeve. The difference now though is, I'm more choosy on who to give a bit of my heart to.
Throw out the old and bring in the new!