Wednesday, 30 March 2011


Something provides
me with
I cannot be but
the other
and hold you
in a
form of
because you're
don't let
go of

The Balance of Healing

It's not always easy keeping your goal in mind when you block yourself with negative thoughts. Being an artist can be tough sometimes, trying to stay motivated, positive and recognizing your past achievements as a reminder that you are doing great things. My advice is to always take a step back, from anything you do. It's like painting a picture, once in a while you have to step back, look at the entirety of your work, not just get bogged down to one detail, because while the detail you're working on might be important, the rest shouldn't be neglected either.

I tend to be a positive person. But that's not to say I don't have a bad day from time to time. I'm incredibly passionate and sometimes I talk really loud when I get excited or opinionated. When I drink, especially after a tough day, I get rowdy and confronting, usually amusing or intimidating people. But all in all, I strongly believe and know that great things are happening to me and more will happen. And that's because I have a positive mind. The goals I have in mind, I already have won them. I haven't won them all right now, but the point is, I already believe I have, so my future is already my present. See how that works?

In my vision - I have already won.

Be honest and tell yourself what it is you truly want. Then, close your eyes, see it in your mind and from the point you visualize, imagine already owning this thing that you want. And what feelings does this thing that you want give you? Love and happiness? If so, then you will get it.

Yes, we are constantly threatened with propaganda that induces fear onto the public - but whilst most find fear crippling, I find it motivating. But that's because I am in control of my fear. I've never really felt fear, unless I've been incredibly negative with myself.

And how to rid this crippling fear if it's already consuming you? My advice is to again - see exactly in your minds eye what it is you want, see yourself already owning whatever it is you want, and trust and love yourself whilst imagining yourself owning this thing. Be confident that you will get it. Nothing's stopping you, but you.

Another thing - sleep. I've been having such trouble sleeping lately that my energy levels have been low and I've been finding myself a little bit dysfunctional. Yes - I've been cursed with a loud mind filled with thoughts to the point it cripples me physically. I think the practical solution would be to go for a run. Doing something physical, where the blood gets pumping, the organs fed with oxygen and blood, can have a great effect on your well being.

I think this is what concludes to finding the right balance of healing. Always understand what it is you want. Don't deny yourself anything, be self aware of your surroundings, keep the perspective in place and a good nights rest will cure anything.

Friday, 25 March 2011

Blow Kiss

You have come a long way,
with a blow kiss
I bid you well.
From rose pedals
to the overgrowing
I follow till the
very end.
Until what
is ours
and the
memories are

Thursday, 24 March 2011

A World Within

Somewhere, a world exists, dipped in rose pedals and smashing green vegetation as far as the eye can see, water pouring like runway crystals from all crevices soaked in a rainbow of stalactites. There, lies a home where only a special kind soak the day light from an everlasting morning.

Within this void, lies an abundance of rich love found on curling trees where fattening fruit hang low and greedy mouths of indescribable species suck its groin of nectar.

A glowing ball of hot metal pulses with a heart beat, drowning this world within another with a glowing heat, energizing all that it touches and its irresistible seed spreads and those around it are seduced by its magic.

The air is light.

The mind free.

The heart but a decoration within the chests of those who find its treasure.

Our earth is alive from within. Everything has a heart beat and so does our world. We are but the skin, the shell, protecting the most sacred and fruitful life within our world. And there, with its exotic organs, live the most advanced of its humanized kind that will further breath



It has all the answers.

Monday, 21 March 2011

Laws of Attraction

Do we really believe we are free? Do we really believe that our politicians care about us? Do we really believe we can get whatever we want?

I believe freedom to be different to everyone. Freedom of the mind and spirit has no rules. It's individual.

I believe that politicians are run by massive corporations who finance their existence and therefore ultimately call the shots and I also believe that most of us accept our fate and choose not to change and fight for what we believe is the truth.

It's quite a painful truth, but this isn't something that brings me down. Not at all. Instead this is something that reminds me of what I am not. This reminds me that everyone in this world has the power to be whatever they really want to be. There is no such thing as democracy, there is only dictatorship that lives behind an illusion that leads us to believe we are in control and that we are "safe".

At least China admits to a dictatorship. Although horrible, it's an honest country. Because lets face it, power is something everyone wants, or at least thinks they want it. And when those who eventually achieve some kind of power, how many actually use it wisely? And those who have used their power wisely, how long did they live within their glory?

There is hope and there always will be because there will always be love.

The only "safety" you can be sure of, is love. Love is the strongest power in the world.

It's taken me some time to understand that I have the power of my own convictions, that if I really want something, I have the power to get it.

The secret? You have to see it, want it and own it. You have to feel the love and positivity that comes with the thing you want, and you will get it.

This doesn't mean you will always get what you want right away. Sometimes, you can get certain things within days, but the big picture stuff takes time, because the universe needs time to develop your path in order to get to where you want.

Adults used to tell me that I couldn't change the world. Something as a child I didn't believe in but as an adult I came to accept. But now I know better. The world can change for the better. Not in one day, but with a process that begins with every single person. The domino effect. It's like a revolution but without violence because the powerful weapons I use? Love and Acceptance. 

You were born for a reason. You are perfect. You are free. Show love, smile even with the darkest cloud over your eyes and you will soon realize, the more positive you are, the more positive the world is around you and the more positive things will happen.

The domino effect.

These are the laws of attraction.

Be pure, be punk and be free.

Thursday, 17 March 2011

Fire on the Mountain

She licked the grooves of trust
with a bullet
of desire as
she rose
from it's burned
the sky
turned red
all that
once was
turning flames
to gold
from within

Tuesday, 15 March 2011

Be Pretty

I think in the last two weeks I've been a little bit pessimistic or a better word, cynical or maybe even a better word, depressed...

Either way, these were feelings that I tried to overcome by generating positive thoughts to over ride the bad ones. But sometimes, when the moral is low, it's hard bringing your head up from the water and take a big gulp of beautiful, precious air.

Point is - now I feel energized again. It's always a bit of an up and down ride for an artist. Sometimes you're high and then sometimes you crash below. But now I'm high again, because my purpose is solid and my drive unstoppable. I think to really try and get out of a rut, you gotta try to be active. Even if it means dragging the heavy led of a body out of bed, putting on those running shoes and go sweat for 30mins... You always know, you'll feel better afterwards, energized, ready to rock and ready to roll with the punches.

Exhaustion from being busy doing what you want, is a good nights sleep. Exhaustion doing nothing and living in your mind, is a poor nights sleep.

Today I started interviewing dancers for our next music video. Something I realized helps me feel positive is meeting new creative people, coming together to discuss and explore a project. I think I got excited (and still am) because I started out with a vision of a dance routine in my mind, but by meeting the potential people to work on the vision with, it's more than a thought in my head, it's turning into a reality.

Sure - you can have a vision, dream it everyday, begin the foundations, but eventually you'll need others to build upon the foundations. My vision for the dance piece in the video was a seed, but now I'm planting it as I meet lovely dancers who equally have a passion to create.

So yea - with a purpose comes energy, the good kind that drives the vehicle forward, that gains speed as the purpose increases within its meaning as you define it.

Letting go of all expectations from those around you, including those you have on yourself, frees your mind, spirit and heart.

I am free and sometimes I have to remind myself that I am free,



whatever the


I want...

Wednesday, 9 March 2011

White Zombie

Go on, be honest for a change. Really honest, not fairly honest, truly honest, that kind of honesty that almost makes you feel a little sick before uttering the words, that kind of painful truth you've been avoiding and although you turn your back on it from time to time, hoping it will hide and never reappear... There it once again catches you, springing from the ashes. Because lets face it, you can't burn the truth down, because the truth always survives and lives forever, it will remain in the hearts of those who own the truth and it will remain false within the scriptures written by those who felt the truth needed to be altered.

Ever heard of the saying, don't believe everything you read?

Finding truth in art nowadays is difficult, and consumerism, greed has corrupted minds to the point of almost brain-dead people. Materialism has a short life-span of happiness. Internal happiness is priceless and forever but people only want what they can see and touch. They have stopped using all of their senses, which usually results in lack of self awareness.

Welcome to the real life of Dawn of The Dead! Consumerism takes first place. Great for the economy. Great way to control the people.

This is why I have a tendency to feel frustration. It's a mixture of my own self harm (thinking to much about this shit) and of what initially surrounds me. Sure, I can try and close myself off from the world, try and maintain the positivity and keep my heart filled to the brim with love... but that's not always easy (because nothing worth doing ever IS easy) and like every human, I sometimes have to admit, that yes, today, I feel deflated. That's the truth. I feel deflated. I can be working my tush off, reading and researching, feeling inspiration but then sometimes, when the energy's low, BAM, I feel like I'm treading water.

It's a fact - media chooses to filter out certain truths in order to portray another version of it. Real truth can't be summarized by just one individual, one local or national TV station or newspaper. What we read and see will always and forever be, a version thought out by people, who ultimately know they  have an influence.

So what is the truth?

Real truth comes from within. It's your own personal version. One that is completely pure and true to only you. So be critical of others and what they say and be free of pop culture.

A very dear friend of mine is promoting freedom from pop culture and finding the truth in her film.

Together with her husband, Anais and Bill Yeager have been touring around America making a film called Jesus of Malibu. This film is about finding truth, real truth and the disintegration of true art and its battle against popular culture. For five years this couple have been on the road, exploring North America and with just the two of them, written, filmed, acted, composed and edited this film...

Have a look at how the Yeager's managed to fool an entire nation by warping the truth, making an example out of the media for being the culprit of editing the truth!

We all have our own version of the truth and art should express that and not be crushed by following some kind of norm just because that's the way money and fame and success is made.

We should be intelligent enough to know that real happiness and success comes from the journey, living in the moment and that the richness comes from within, not a number on a bank statement.

And even if I'm just one person voicing these opinions, hopefully motivating others, I think it would be a dream if more people were like the Yeager's. These are people who remind me that we are all connected and that real truth can be found if you build your own self awareness and be free from all expectations.

Saturday, 5 March 2011

Go Charlie Go!

So there's been a lot of hype around Charlie Sheen in these last weeks and although I've detoxed myself from most of the celebrity gossip, this was a case that tickled my curiosity.

Checking out some of the latest footage, Sheen appears gaunt, wild eyed and way too thin for my liking. However, gray appearance aside, I can't ignore the unusual sentence structures this man has let pass his lips. Oddly, I seem to get what he's on about. Does that make me crazy as well? Somehow I understand his unusual ramblings and his seemingly desperation to lay his thoughts down straight, with no BS in between.

Maybe that puts me up there with the rest of the crazies, but you know what? Charlie Sheen is the example of a product Hollywood created and to which he's now trying to break away from. AND CHAOS! Hollywood can't control one of their minions, so GASP, he MUST be nuts.

Best quotes I found on Charlie: 'This boys gone mad, send him to the loony bin' OR 'He's GOT to be on drugs no normal person would talk like that' and my favorite 'He's bi-polar.'

I ain't no psychologist, but just because someone actually stands out for their odd behavior, which challenges people's comprehension of human attitudes, doesn't necessarily mean there's something wrong with them. The real crazies in my opinion are all those fake 'celebrities' who claim fame after being on a crap reality TV show, the real crazies are all those girls and boys watching the crappy reality TV show and allowing those fake 'celebs' to even claim fame for NO talent, the real crazies are all those people who believe beauty is a one standard formula and cut themselves up to look just like everyone else... 

In one of the interviews, Sheen was asked to give a urine sample to see if he was under the influence of something, the results? Negative. 'Yea,' Sheen told the interviewer, 'I am on something, it's called Charlie Sheen.'

We could all benefit from injecting ourselves with our own personal high that comes from within. We should learn to create our own personal cocktail that we mix together when we're feeling down. A cocktail with a dash of confidence, a splash of sexy exotic lemon juice and a twist of love... My own personal cocktail? 'Naughty Nina Never says No'... or just a simple 'Nina Kicks Arse'...

But back to good ol Sheen. (If he's a woman beater, I'll kick his fucking ass with the ends of my high heels) If he appears a little crazy because we don't understand his alien language from Planet Bizarre, because he's actually conjuring something out of the odds, because he's tearing himself away from every single stereotype we've come to accept, then I think we've got to remind ourselves, that having these 'crazies' around actually makes this planet a much more interesting place to live in. I certainly enjoy it, because these people challenge the norm, they make us feel uncomfortable and I believe that's a good thing!

All I'm saying is, to be different is WAY cooler than to fit the norm.

We all wanna feel like we belong somewhere, that's why peer pressure exists, but as you get older, your realize that being your own trend is more fun and with a lot less strings attached.

Charlie Sheen said something that I really dug - he said all his life he'd been pleasing other people, now it was his time to do things for himself...

... and I guess because of that, he's having quite the mid life crisis...

But if you want to avoid such desperate tidal waves of change in your mid 50's, then live your life for yourself,




(And it took one 'nutty' man from ex Hollywood to remind me of that. So maybe I am crazy after all.)