Thursday, 30 December 2010

Happy Positive New Year!

After a rich Christmas with Family and food up North of England amongst the snowy dunes, I now hang in Germany out in the country two hours outside Berlin.

I am surrounded by meters of snow, fluffy cats, wild horses and a log fire heating up this rustic house I've kindly been invited to. These next few days will consist of seeing the snow buried sites and getting geared up for our Berlin adventure. My band has been fortunate enough to book six gigs in the time we're here in Germany and it's come to the point where we will be probably gigging and rehearsing more than we might be able to record... So we must make sure we plan every step, not to mention some friendly visitors we will also be receiving...

I read something quite interesting today in one of my astrology texts I get from time to time via email. My virtual psychic said that most people say "I'll be happy when..." And you know what? I do that sometimes, I sometimes tell myself, "Oh I will be happy when I'm rich and famous and my bands touring the world making millions and I get my dream studio set up for our record label and we're helping other indie artists realize their dreams and when I've a family of my own..."

Thing is, these are all things that I want and that I'm working towards, but the happiness shouldn't be dependent on if these goals are achieved or not. Happiness should be achieved in the present in order to fuel your mind with energy to make these dreams come true. We shouldn't be hanging onto the past or the future, because both are none existent, they're made of air. But what isn't made of air, is the present.

At least in the present we can be sure that we have happy memories and a great future ahead.

Feeling positive in the present actually helps you achieve your goals. The positive mind is incredibly powerful. It helps set your mind straight, helps you to be able to reach those visions.

The way to remain positive and try and decrease negative thoughts is by understanding and embracing your positive emotions. The more you hang on to the positive and feel its sensation, the more your mind will stay attracted to it, addicted. And when a negative thought comes into play, learn to cast it off, tell your mind that you don't want to feel it, that you only want to feel the good things.

Someone grilled me about my band and the record label the other day and asked me if I ever worry that in the music business only a small percentage ever "make it". I told this person two VERY important things;

Number One: if I worried about people not "making it" in this industry, I wouldn't get anywhere in life and Number Two: define what "making it" even means, because as far as I'm concerned, I feel like I'm "making it" every single day!

Berlin didn't just happen, we started with an idea and we practically thought it through how we could turn it into a reality. Do you think we ever once thought "oh maybe this might be a mistake blabla"? Of course not. Life is about taking it by the horns. It will beat you down, but you don't have to let it crush you. Just get up again and be tougher. And if you can, along the way, be positive. Even those shitty gigs we experienced through and through in London, are positive, because it helped make us better, it helped teach us who to work with and who to stay away from.

So yea, I say don't think TOO much about something, just think about it enough to help you get the best out of something.

To positive minds out there, Happy New Year!

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

DIY band?

I wrote 1,000 words for ABOF (A Badge of Friendship) on what my band (The Unkindness of Ravens) and record label (Sonic Fire Records) does in order to be successful! So for all you DIY bands/artists, check out this motivational piece!


Once upon a time, I used to think that love was like a fairy tale. That one day, my prince would whisk me away, marry me and we'd live happily ever after. Beautiful idea, but kind of misleading. Somehow though, I always held onto a little grain that belonged to that fantasy, because somehow, deep down, I thought it could still happen.

With every man I've been with, I truly believed he was my prince, my soul mate, the one to be with for the rest of my life. And our stories together would bloom, blossom and then eventually crumble. I never gave up on love, because I'm stubborn and I don't fear pain that comes with a break-up, if anything, I fear disappointment more. And sometimes I felt more like a fool than someone coming away with another broken heart.

When you feel love, take it by the horns. We only get this one life (as far as we know) and we might as well be the kid in a candy shop. Splurge.

And there's something else. I was a fool back then. Many times. But I'm still a fool now. The difference is, I just choose to be with someone who is equally a fool like me. And maybe being a fool isn't so bad after all. Because you and I, are two beautiful fools in love.

I love you.

Tuesday, 14 December 2010

The Evolutionary Sound

These last few weeks have been all about organizing my trip to Berlin with my band and researching possible intern positions for artist management in the new year. The only real creative achievement I've managed in the last two weeks, was some screen writing for a short film we want to shoot in Berlin and drawing a controversial comic... It's not a lot, but thank god blogs seem to somewhat feed my creative soul, at least temporarily.

I just came away writing 1,000 words for someone who wanted to know my process on being an artist whilst simultaneously learning the trade of the business side within the music industry. It was a good task to do actually, because it reminded me of all the things I've achieved in these last two years. It's been quite the ride actually. These last two years. And there's this warm balloon filling my gut, I think, this is what I would call, pride.

At times I find we're all like machines; we work and work and forget that the days have even passed. Where has the time gone? What! It's already coming up to Christmas? Thoughts like that make me wonder if I've been living every moment to the full extent I wanted to. I know I'm happy, I feel incredibly happy, but why are the days disappearing so quickly? Yes, the winter steals away a lot of the daytime, and already at five in the evening I'm hungry for dinner, fooled to think it's eight o'clock. Thank god I don't own an iPhone (yet) because most of the people I know who have them, are slaves to this pocket machine. And with all of this information zipping about like hungry flies, our minds must be over-worked and exhausted.

This is why it's good for me to take an hour or so, best times are during traveling with the lulling of a bus, to recount all the successes I've achieved. Our minds work better on positive thoughts, so we might as well stop beating ourselves up for little things. It's ok to look at your work and figure out ways on how to improve it, but in the end, the fact that you did good work is already a success.

I've known too many people in my time who were afraid to live their lives. They'd spend a lot of their time coming up with great ideas, but already in their minds they'd execute them, which usually didn't leave them much room to actually go out there and do it. It always surprised me when listening to these people talk (and they would talk a lot), that when I asked them how they were going to achieve their ideas, they couldn't really give a coherent answer. That's probably because they either enjoyed the idea more than the reality or they weren't thinking practically enough on how to reach their goal. You see, it's one thing to have a dream, it's another trying to achieve it and with that comes practical solutions to overcome obstacles. In the end I began to lose faith in those who talked more than walked their talk and I couldn't trust them.

After many experiences with these negative people, I knew I had to change my pattern and move onto things that were healthier for me. I was tired of getting drained and I needed to find more people like me. You see, if you're surrounding yourself with the right kind of energy, this vibrant energy has the potential to help you stay positive and get you those things you want and you would get them, the right way.

Shut your eyes. Think of nothing else, but the black behind your eyelids. Take a deep breath, feel your stomach fill with warm air, focus on the skin around your stomach stretch as you balloon your tummy with good air. Exhale slowly. Think back to the last time something really good happened to you. Remember the feeling, that happy feeling that tickles your heart, makes you smile. Remember the smells from that happy day, what the time was, the temperature of the air, the sounds this magical moment created...

By focusing on those pleasant things, you're already reducing your stress levels and you're releasing serotonin, which is the 'happy' hormone.

By having this positive feeling, you can now focus on your work, you can once again remind yourself of your mission in life and free yourself from any unnecessary negative thoughts.

It's true when they say if you put your mind to it, you can do anything. You just have to want it for the right reasons.

"My life is an experiment... I might as well take my chances..."
- B. Raine

Monday, 13 December 2010


Check out our video 'I Used to be so Pretty' up on NYLON blog site. Please leave a comment!

Wednesday, 8 December 2010

Gimme a Boost

Sometimes we all need a boost. Something to take us out of our little rut. It's normal to feel the lack of energy at times, the scales heavier on one side, making you feel lopsided until you're nothing more than Quasimodo, hunched over, not wanting to look the world in the eye.

It's maybe in those times of lopsidedness, that we might have to re-think a few things a little. Take a day out, have a cup of tea, write down your aims and objectives and if you got a special someone, take out the evening as well and turn it into a romantic one.

If there's one thing that's strongly a part of me, it's my past. I allow it to be there, almost everyday, like a friend sitting next to me for a cup of tea. My past is almost more present than my actual present at times, and although I'm blessed with great memories, I'm also plagued with some tough ones.

It's always best to recognize that these past bruises were really the ones that shaped you to who you are today. Even if it's painful looking back, it's best to recognize that with those tough times, comes a reward, and that is, you're better off now, so move on!

Courtney Love once said she believes only dumb people are truly happy. Well, we all seek out happiness, but I can see what she means, I generally don't trust people who are easily pleased... For me, life needs to be more than what we're presented with. I've always been the type to question everything... However the one thing I rarely questioned, were people. Which is something I do more often now. Although my past is like a comforting blanket at times when I'm feeling at my most vulnerable, it's also a reminder of who I've become, but it's also a reminder of who I don't ever want to return to.

We all have patterns. Either we're born with them or we develop them learning from our surroundings. Sometimes these patterns aren't always put together well, and we have to change them around a bit. I for one, have recognized certain patterns in my life, to which I now am very aware of and like any bad habit, if a certain pattern crops up, I have to do something opposite so that eventually, it won't return. This is why understanding your past is essential, just don't let it hang there with you at all times, because the present is also about living in the now.

You see, there are different ways of looking at your past, either with regret or with love. I am grateful that I don't regret a thing, but although those bruises from my past shaped me into a better woman, it still can sting a little when looking back and this makes me wonder, have I forgiven myself completely?

The Key is Forgiveness. It's the one thing that really sets the intelligent people apart from those who would rather begin a war. Forgiveness. And the best place to start, is with yourself.

It's not really the persons who hurt me, disappointed me, that I need to forgive, it's myself. I have to forgive myself for ever getting involved with people who weren't right for me. When I become angry with my past, I am actually really angry at myself, for fooling myself into believing something that wasn't really there. This is why I strongly believe, if people would look deep inside themselves, they'd discover that the problems aren't external, they're internal. You can go on blaming the world all you want for your troubles, it's always easier than seeing that the problems are within you.

Sometimes my memories are lovely, it's nicer to think that way. But sometimes there are memories with a post-it note stuck to them, reminding me of who I was and that even though I no longer am that person, I have to forgive the person I was in the past.

If there's a sudden blast from the past (something that's been happening to me lately) look at it as something that's brought you a long way. Remind yourself that you are in a better place because that person you once were was the last version of yourself from that time.

Now it's about the new things you want to achieve.

Without a past, there is no present, and we all know, that the present is a gift and therefore must be treated with love and care.

Thursday, 2 December 2010

My Lady, her Scent

Her perfume bottle felt empty.
She tried to pull out the remaining drops.
Her scent floated away
like a whisper in the wind,
a moment left behind.
And as it
sat in the neck of
her palm,
as the tears bloated
through the portal of the
blue bottle,
onto the slender
nape of her wrist,
he sucked
it up with
the width of his nostrils,
a moment left to his very own,
as the rose petals
filled his heart
and he knew he could never

Wednesday, 1 December 2010


Social networking sites are the new friends. How many minutes, hours in a day do you spend staring into a screen, scrolling through past friends, new friends, maybe friends you would like to be friends with...? Question is, although these sites are great staying in touch with someone a few thousand miles away, how much quality time and effort is really being put into the friendship with the person that is only a town away from you?

I know our generation has been reduced to screens and mobile phones, communication to the outside world seems to be the biggest business alongside porn and food. However, through all of this communication, how much of it is actually quality intentions and how much are we trying to avoid picking up the phone because there's just too much contact?

The days I had my phone turned off and buried in the back of the drawer, were the days I felt free, like a weight had been lifted. It was like I was time-warped back to the 80's when you had to stick to the date you made over the phone and if you were late you missed out! The world was my oyster without a mobile phone and I could flawlessly float through it because no one knew my face from a picture online, no one had my latest status update and no one could get past the voice-mail...

As much as I like the idea of FB, it also has its shallow sides. Lets face it, the 400+ people on my friends page, ain't all friends that I know or shared a past/present with. However, I have an excuse - I have a band and the more people "know" me and see my updates, the more people will at least have glanced at a status update once in a while to see when my next gig is. I guess that's the "networking" part of these social websites... I remember when an ex-friend of mine came storming into my room complaining that her younger sister had more friends than she had - "X is stealing all of my FB friends!" she said... hence the term ex-friend... Can't deal with shallow people like that.

I'm just curios to know how healthy this whole social networking is for people in the future. The amount of ugly comments I have read on youtube sites is beyond believable. The fact that behind the screen, we feel safer to say whatever we think and post it online, especially judgmental adjectives. It's like we've decided to become the brutal judges on X-factor (which I will also change to Fake Factor) and we're writing people off on the internet before we even give them a chance in reality.

I read a while back, that the reason most of the youths today are crude and rude to people in public is because they're losing their senses towards society. This could also be down to poor parenting, but being on the internet all the time is a ticking time bomb to losing touch with reality. The Internet has literally turned into Earth 2, and on Earth 2 you get a second life to be whatever sexy minx or murderous cadaver you want to be. You can also just be yourself...

If I had to choose between a real-life party and a fake-life party...