I have a lot going on in my head at the moment and that's mainly due to a book I'm reading that was given to me from one of my best friends. Although I haven't finished the book, I do feel I'm in dire need to express my thoughts on the subject at hand. If I act out angrily, I will NOT apologize, because when change needs to happen, it needs to happen NOW.
The book I am reading is called Living Dolls by Natasha Walter. And this book highlights the return of sexism in our Western culture. She focuses mainly on Great Britain however references/discusses other pieces written/explored from other Journalists in other Western countries.
I am not a feminist, as I believe in equality for both sexes, so call me a HUMANIST (as I am editing this piece my friend tells me that the term 'Humanist' was invented by the White European Male... makes me wonder if the term was invented as a subliminal ploy to distract the main objective of being a feminists - who are not all man haters and/or lesbians!). As a humanist, I believe that by trying to understand all sides of a story, this will help me make better opinions and clearer choices in my life.
I will highlight the main concerns of the book from the pages I've dipped in so far - Natasha believes that Great Britain is on the cusp of returning into a modern form of sexism. This is expressed through various interviews with Glamor models, prostitutes, strippers, editors from sex rags (such as NUTS and FHM) as well as club owners of various strip joints.
So far, I am livid. I cannot believe that we have allowed ourselves to turn into another cave-man driven society. We are all responsible for allowing this to happen. Starting off with our daughters of the future who are exposed at an early age to toys such as BRATZ (newer, more bizarre version of Barbie dolls). BRATZ's motto is to look sexy, look cool, go shopping and go party. This doll expresses a very limited outlook on what girls are to believe they are capable of. No wonder our little girls already have body dis-morphia by the time they turn 8 when their modern day celebrity figures already have had nose jobs, cheek fillers, chin sculpting, liposuction, botox by the time they're 20. And no wonder our little ladies get confused about coitus when already at the tender age of 11, boys in their schools are exposing them to degrading pornography because parents can't hide their Nuts magazines and/or keep them away from the internet, which inevitably results in girls thinking they have to take it up the ass, whilst sucking another guys dick, and boys wouldn't know any better anyway, because do we ever see a woman in porn say NO?!
Other interesting subjects rise when Natasha dips into the GLAMOUR modeling industry (which really is a fancy term for women to pose naked...) and that the TV/glamour modeling/film industry is now glamorizing stripping, prostitution (paid or not paid), lap-dancing and posing for the page 3 papers, giving the illusion that these women "chose" to take these jobs, that women are really the ones in power. Well if women really are in power, then why do most women feel shitty after giving a guy a lap-dance? Why do most men degrade women verbally and physically when selling their bodies for sex? If the sex industry was that respectable to women and so "empowering", why do most women come away feeling like they've lost part of their soul?
I am not judging anyone who goes into the sex industry. What I am trying to get at is that women shouldn't grow up believing they're only as good as their looks. Women shouldn't think it's prude if they're not into threesomes. Women should know and truly understand that they have other options to make money and have successful career. And I think once women realize this, and this education needs to start with young girls, then this feeling of "empowerment" will actually exist and for the right reasons.
In my opinion, the feeling of empowerment has nothing to do with sex, it's about confidence. And yea, THAT can be sexy.
I'm not even interested in arguing that the sex industry should be banned. We all know that sex sells and so it will be forever the oldest form of business. I just think that every woman should be aware of the fine lines between 'sex' and what really is sexy. It has become "fashionable" to glamorize prostitution like in Billy Pipers TV drama "Diary of a Call Girl", or that having emotionless sex is living life like a man as it's portrayed in "Sex & The City". Men and Women. We are different, we all know that, but we could all get along and respect one another's individuality, if only we stopped allowing ourselves to get influenced by the wrong media.
Sex is personal and I believe in mutual consent, in everything. And I think having sex with someone special, where you both come away feeling fabulous, not degraded or used, is how sex should be treated and respected. We all know that real life isn't about material, how many men or women you fucked, or the money. We know that real life is about understanding it, filling your "void" with something that only you can do for yourself and that these experiences are best shared with someone special...
You want to get noticed? Your personality should do that for you, your talent, your whit, your CONFIDENCE! Sexy is confidence. And confidence is sexy. Believe me, that's all I ever was seduced by in a man, confidence, not looks, not money, not anything. Just confidence. And I'm a very confident lady and if a man can't handle it, then he ain't worth it.
Returning to the book; please read it if you are interested in this subject. I think it is vital to be aware of this fast growing change in our modern society. I think parents should be incredibly careful what they expose their daughters and sons too. After all do you really want your six year old daughter running around in a jeans skirt with the words "Hot Stuff" printed on the back?
Are we really going to allow young impressionable women believe they are only going to succeed if they look pretty? I work in the music industry and I don't agree with most Pop/RnB music videos out there that objectify women as sex symbols. Are we really going to allow our young children to look up to celebrity figures such as the Pussycat Dolls (the name alone) or Sugababes or Girls Allowed who prance around half naked, singing about sex slaves and THESE are the people we should be looking up too?
I'm not happy until I see BRATZ or Barbie working as a sound engineer/artist.
I will always do my fucking best to set an example of what I believe to be a strong, confident, woman, a strong and confident HUMAN being. I think if women really really want to move forward it's down to the individual, set the right example, teach men that anal sex isn't an option anymore.
I think PRUDE is the new fucking trend. Show less flesh, have more confidence and always be passionate about your life. You work on those main three ingredients and the world will fall at your feet!
It's always worked for me!