I've done a lot of reading over the weekend (and writing for that matter) - mostly due to one of my best girl friends who has hooked me up with some amazing literature. My sister now worries I've totally been converted into a feminist, I might be or I might not be, that is the question, or not at all, it really doesn't matter, because what's important is the KNOWLEDGE!
So whenever you get a chance, look into 'Female Chauvinist Pigs' by Ariel Levy and it will give you a great break-down of our cultural movement in the male and female American society.
But now in my own words. Raise your hand if you feel sexy? Raise both hands if you feel sexy and want to have sex because you're horny? Raise both hands and a leg if you feel sexy, feel horny and really want to do it with someone special? Raise both hands and both legs if you feel sexy, feel horny, want to have sex with someone special and know in return he/she is into you as much as you are into them?
Ok, my point is this, if you feel none of these things, ever, then there's something wrong. And I'll tell you why - forget Paris Hilton, any Porn star with fake tits, hair and lips, forget all those celebrities who have showed off their vagina's or have put out porn flicks to get media attention and then somehow make a career out of it. Forget reality TV (it really ain't that real), forget Big fucking Brother, forget it all.
Now, remember this, life is about you. Just you and what you want and what you're worth. It's about your body shape, not that re-touched model in the magazine, or the actress who faught tooth and nail to get her 'movie' body a month before the shoot. It's about your beautiful body, the way it feels in your hands, the way the curves, the muscles, the tender bones beneath your skin feels. It's about the soul in your eyes when you look in the mirror. It's about your pretty mouth when you talk and say wonderful things that captures peoples attention. It's about your thoughts, your dreams, your lust and desire to love. That's what it's about. Forget the rest. They're all phony trying to fit in, just like you've been trying to fit in your whole life. It ain't worth it. Because you're special, you're unique, you create a balance in this world, without you, things would tip. You are here for a reason, and that is to stand out as your own. To capture your dreams in your own beautiful and unique and remarkable way.
I wasn't gonna initially write all that above, but it came out anyway, so I'm leaving it there.
But what I really wanted to say is this, Paris Hilton is NOT sexy. You know why? Because she's obvious and cloned just the way the media clones every unique individual into a peroxide soulless stick. She's tall, thin, and blond and wears pink. In my opinion, Paris Hilton's a cartoon character that society has invented, or come to accept, to what sexy is. If you watch her "porn" videos, she's BORED out of her mind! You know why? Because she actually doesn't really know how to have sex. Just because someone oozes obvious sex, doesn't mean they actually know how to have good sex. Just like someone obsessed with porn, won't necessarily know how to be good in bed. Because porn doesn't teach anything about connection, it just tells you wear to stick it and how many places to stick it into!
Someone like Paris Hilton who spends more time checking herself out in the mirror, getting attention, won't actually know what to do with it when it comes down to it. Because she is numb inside. She's an outer shell. She's what I would like to call, make-believe. Now we've all done it, when we were children, we made stuff up, we played in the gardens, ran around, turning our real world into a world of magic and color and castles and wars, only we could see. Then we grow up, and we enjoy real connection, we learn from the next person, we connect and we turn our world into something magical that we can actually touch, see, smell, hear and taste.
So my point is this, real is what you make of it. And whatever sexy is to you, is real and it's true.