Saturday, 26 June 2010

Mr. Bag

Oh Boy. Here comes another one. Guzzling it down like lemonade on fire. It felt good though. Letting the ol' hair down, remembering the rock n roll days of just being me, surrounded by Gods delicious fruits.

And the morning after? My body aches, my mind aches, my heart aches. Memories swoop back in, squeezing that void. Loneliness like cancer festering my bones.

I have a gig tonight. Drinks last night were too many to count, but the company's in question were great to be around.

It's been a long time since I was out and about, fully aware that there no longer was someone waiting for me at home, realizing I was on the "market" so to speak. And you know what? It wasn't that hard. I forgot how friendly people were. Genuinely honest and seemingly caring. I was care free and life seemed good for a little while. The blast lasted until four in the morning. All the way home there was laughter, a guest stayed over and off they went in the later part of the morning after recapping the eventful evening.

I truly believed last night that I could do this. Really and truly. This morning said something different. But it's mind over matter. The urge to tell Him that I really miss him is suffocating me. Feelings of betrayal haunt my brain like an indisposed ghost. But I try and stay strong.

I do wonder if he misses me as badly as I miss him. If his love is the same as mine...

Tonight I have a show. The show must go on. No matter what. I've always been strong. I never crumble before anyone I don't fully trust. And it's my time to have fun.

One day someone will deserve me and I them.

No comments:

Post a Comment