It's been a busy week since I've returned from Berlin. My bands first back-to-London-show blew up the audience and had people speechless; because how can two people create such loud noise and controlled chaos? Well we can, because we've graduated with a degree for best innovative sound and live performance since we've returned from Germany.
So yea life is good and busy because we've got some awesome projects in the pipeline, including another music video and a mind-blowing first Album. I love making art. I love being able to express myself and feel like a real human being with uncontainable emotions, boiled flesh and sweaty tears.
The other night I was in bed with my very beautiful man-lover-friend and before we fell asleep we exchanged a few thoughts and at some point in the conversation he took hold of my ass and told me that I had the best ass in the world... I told him I knew that already but thanked him kindly for the compliment. And I meant it. I do really and honestly think I have a pretty fucking awesome ass.
For years I've had a bit of an "issue" with my scrumptious tush, because I felt it was too big and people always seemed to focus on it. It's like being the girl with a cleavage that people can't stop staring at. Well that's kinda what its been like with my ass, only for some reason strangers thought they could give it a squeeze when I passed by them in a bar (or the street). So my tush started to make me feel uncomfortable, soon I became ashamed for having a part of my body be on such sexual display that I did whatever I could to shrink its size. I stopped eating certain foods and I'd wear over-sized t-shirts and sweaters to hide my buttocks beneath it. And what started as a little discomfort soon ruled my life.
But I got over it and now I celebrate my femininity. Yea, sure, sometimes I get the ol' insecurity back from time to time, but on the whole, I celebrate my body. I think to reach this point in life where you truly embrace all of yourself, you really have to learn to love yourself for who you are and how you look. Although we get older, the wiser part actually only happens if your heart's open to learn from yourself and others around you. Eventually with this knowledge, you'll breed confidence and empowerment. And with such positive feelings, you'll automatically learn to love the physical parts on yourself as well. You can choose to focus on the "bad" things in life and on your body OR you can celebrate those things that make you look and feel great. The more you do that, the less these "bad" things even appear.
When I think about achieving a goal, I rarely think about the loooong steps I would have to take in order to achieve it. Instead I think about the end result and work my way backwards. So when I thought about how to get my band to Berlin, I thought about the goal, which was seeing Berlin the city in my head and my band walking the streets, playing busy shows, writing and recording our Album... And with those thoughts in my mind I worked my way backwards and figured out practically how we could achieve this goal.
Yes, I can sometimes be up my own arse
and I really don't mean to show off...
that's a lie, I'm always showing off,
but at least it's one fucking sexy arse indeed
and I know you have one too!