Tuesday, 22 February 2011

Bad Habits Die Hard

There's one term I refuse to accept and that is "flaws" in a person. There are motivational speakers out there who speak of "flaws" in a person and how you need to overcome them. The minute you're telling someone they have "flaws", that's the minute people feel bad about themselves, like there's something wrong with them. Well there's NOTHING wrong with you. You are perfect just the way you are.

So throw out those self help books on becoming a "better" person because they're designed to steal your money and make you follow a false prophet.

I believe we are born perfect. And as we grow, we soak up our surroundings like a sponge, which eventually turns us into who we are today. There is no such thing as a 'pure' personality, because whatever our soul consists of, we individually choose to pick up messages subconsciously for our own personal reasons. What I will say though is; these supposed "flaws" are actually in my opinion, 'habits'. But they're only really bad habits, if they make you unhappy. Then maybe it's something you should address and figure out how to prevent a bad habit from reoccurring.

I used to have a man in my life who eventually convinced me that I needed to become a "better" person. So there I was, thinking I was flawed and needed solving and becoming better. But what I didn't realize was that I already was better. I was perfect even before he entered my life. I didn't need help, I was fine just the way I was. So after having that epiphany, I let him go and re-learned how to trust my own instincts in what was good for me and what wasn't. And once he was gone, so went many others. I did a bit of people-spring-cleaning. I got rid of all those people who I felt were negative energy so that I could fully concentrate on being happy.

And my other habits? There are a few I'm constantly battling with to keep under control. But the biggest habit I picked up over the years, was pleasing others before myself. This is a big one I think many people suffer from. And it's really a mixture of guilt, lack of self value and fear. I think when you recognize a bad habit and it really prevents you from reaching your full potential, then try to understand why you have it in the first place and work backwards from there. I always felt that the need to please others came from my mother. Once I realized I didn't have to become like my mother a massive weight was lifted from my shoulders and I taught myself how to become more selfish. And you know what? The more I listened to what I wanted and what my needs were (guilt-free) the happier I became.

But with every bad habit, you have to learn to control it once you overcome it. It's like refusing yourself chocolate if you're on a diet. You have to stay on top of it so that you don't slip back into the same pattern. But again, with time and practice, you will be able to handle it (in German) mit links - meaning with your left (hand).

You're born perfect. You don't need to change, you just need to learn to become more self aware. If more people worked on their self awareness, I think there would be more love to go around.

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