Wednesday, 28 April 2010

True Romance?

Before my BF and I hit a stone wall and we were genuinely happy, the question of true romance seemed to pop into my mind from time to time.

You see, as a woman, some of us are fooled into thinking that what media tells us, is what it's all about. An example would be the chick flicks that plague this world like a zombie virus. My BF and I would watch chick flicks from time to time, I emotionally immersed by the love affair, whilst he lying next to me was squeamish, not because the story was cliché, but because he found them to be a lie.

For instance - take Valentines day. The biggest bullshit day of the year. A money making machine, turning over profits like it were Christmas day. I loath the day, not because you see happy lovers arm in arm and you're wondering where your valentine was lurking, but because you see stressed males, running around, throwing money at any ol' thing that says 'be mine' just to keep her happy and loved. You know what my BF and I did on that day? Painted my closet. Now that's romance. Because he did for me, he helped me, and that for me is true romance.

Love should be celebrated everyday without the ridiculous amount spend-thrifting on nonsense. I say keep up the spontaneity and all should be well. Surprise her. Surprise him.

True horror does not come from those films that propose a doomed world where zombies take over the earth and it's down to two people to rediscover the lost peace. The true horror is the exploitation of love in films that propose there is only one way for him to truly love you, if he does this and that and this. Believe me, I've tried the whole, storming out thing, packed the bags, tricking him that I was leaving, secretly hoping he would run after me (like in the movies) hoping that just before I board the train, he would come running down after a ten minute adventure of fighting traffic, breathless, shouting my name, grabbing me, kissing me and telling me that he was the one who was wrong and that I am the only one for him. I can assure you, that if I had stormed out in reality, he wouldn't have come after me. In fact I would be on that train kicking myself for being such an idiot. After all it always takes two to tango.

So yea. Love films are dangerous to women, because eventually they condition you into believing there is only 'one man out there'. And what about the 'Mr. Right' myth. Mr. Right is a perfectly designed illusion aimed at financially independent women to avoid any 'he's not good enough' lads in order to push their career until they hit 40 and realize they missed the family train and it's too late to have kids or even a healthy relationship with a man without always the lingering thought 'could I do better'? Point is you can't do better, because relationships will always have their ups and downs. And honey, if you want someone to be 'the one' for you, marry yourself.

Pardon the ranting.

To be perfectly honest, for only being 26, I'm already making valid decisions about babies and career. As a women you have to think about it more than a man. We are under pressure if we decide to have a career and children at the same time. The older I get, the more it becomes apparent that soon I will have to make that decision. You can always be one of those women who do everything, the whole multi-tasking life juggling act kids and husband and work and life... but seriously, I want to be happy and I will need sleep if I want to enjoy any bit of my life.

So true romance? I know, I've probably killed it a bit, but really, romance comes from you showing your partner love and appreciation in your own fanatical way, independently from any women's magazine or film.

Just my thoughts.



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