Wednesday, 27 October 2010

Did you ever think... for a second...

Tell me something. Did you miss me, in that moment when I was away? Did you ever think it could get this far? I didn't, but I played this game of poker, allowing myself to think there was only one way to go about this and then, well, I just did... fell into your arms like it was the only thing that kept me from living. I fell so fucking hard. I couldn't smell myself any further from the flowers that were there to turn my soul into this mess.

So I ask you. Did you miss me when I fell into the fields of flowers, warming our innards as the days passed through our veins like warm milk?

Did you miss our intentions when we said we would sail out into the lands of nothing, falling into another world together when we promised each other kisses?

I can't remember anymore when we said those words. Those words of promise, because I found another, something more than just words, something more with promise and something more than just flowers.

You see, there was a time, a time when we said many things and then as it passed and you moved away I was confronted with what I had in front of me. And you know what? It really wasn't that bad. The curse of believing there was only one way to live this life as it disappeared.

I was a fool once. Thinking that many knew better than me. My weakness, I do admit, but then as I realized my own power, the power to get what ever I wanted, that force of nature that exuded within my veins like teenage testosterone. I couldn't help but follow those, the norm of males, those who wanted to crush my inner soul, those who knew I was something greater than they could ever understand... A fool I was, helpless in thinking that anyone could ever know better than me.

SO I ask, for a final time, did you ever miss, those times, when you knew I was the one who showed the way to a life that promised something better than your little mind could ever comprehend? Because now, as I look at everything I have managed, from little and now to something big, as determination fuels my bones into a greater beast of love and passion, did you ever think, for a moment you could handle something so mighty?

Maybe you did, but maybe you couldn't. And whatever the reason, I still stand like a bull at the edge of a cliff, I know when it is worth to jump.

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