There's a hole in your wall.
At night I see
into your
fruitful garden.
My eyes rich with
desire to slip a hand
right through the moss soaked cavern,
and grab a plump
waxy
apple.
Eventually
the wet moss
begins to bleed
as its gentle fern
sews the hole in your
wall together.
And for a little
while,
I can
almost hear
your
heart
beat,
just before
the hole in your wall
shuts completely.
Thursday, 13 January 2011
The Hole in My Wall
There's something incredibly powerful being so close to history in Berlin, walking along the remains of the fallen rubble that divided a city, a nation for 20 years. Reading into the history of it, it's amazing to discover the attitudes of people and how they dealt with the iron curtain.
At the moment I am so emotionally wired that I don't even quite know how to write this blog. There's so much going through my mind, trying to understand what it must have been like for some people to wake up one morning and find the beginnings of the physical separation between East and West. What started as barbed wired fence, soon increased into brick walls and guards with guns patrolling it. And for those part of the intelligent group in East Germany to suddenly be forced to subdue their thoughts and to live repressed, must have created so much frustration.
What I also found astounding is how Allied countries at first helped West Germany with the infamous 'airlift' in order to entice the East Germans to cross borders in order to weaken the Soviet interest within Germany, but then leave the country stranded once the wall was put up. The U.S. Government called the wall "a fact of international life" and left it at that. When the wall was taken down, Margret Thatcher begged the Soviets to try and do whatever they could to keep the wall from falling. The wall represented two principles; it wasn't only to prevent East Germans escaping into the West, it was also a comfort blanket for the Allies because it meant the Soviets would probably cease interest in spreading their Soviet ideologies across Germany. So really the wall was a win win for the Soviets and the Allies, but for the people of Germany?
Despite the 20 year repression amongst the East Germans, when Günter Schabowski announced that the gates shall be opened for the East to cross over to the West on 9 November 1989, there was no hesitation, people collected themselves at the edge of the wall and united they crossed over into the arms of the West. That for me is the true spirit. That for me is man-kind no longer letting themselves be bullied. That for me is purity with soul and heart and love. To do whatever it takes.
I guess you can say, that although we have governmental structures to keep people under some kind of illusive control, we really are the leaders assisting the politicians and not the other way around. At least that's my ideology. However naive that may be. And I understand, to know true freedom you have to grow up with it. I also understand that there are belief systems in countries where freedom is a paradise that one works towards instead of attaining it daily.
We are the nation, we are the country, we make the money, we create the life and the happiness. It's ok to be led, but leaders should still know that without their people, they cease to be leaders. And maybe sometimes we have to remind them of that.
I wish for everyone to feel their true human spirit everyday, that the real leader and the real power comes from within.
At the moment I am so emotionally wired that I don't even quite know how to write this blog. There's so much going through my mind, trying to understand what it must have been like for some people to wake up one morning and find the beginnings of the physical separation between East and West. What started as barbed wired fence, soon increased into brick walls and guards with guns patrolling it. And for those part of the intelligent group in East Germany to suddenly be forced to subdue their thoughts and to live repressed, must have created so much frustration.
What I also found astounding is how Allied countries at first helped West Germany with the infamous 'airlift' in order to entice the East Germans to cross borders in order to weaken the Soviet interest within Germany, but then leave the country stranded once the wall was put up. The U.S. Government called the wall "a fact of international life" and left it at that. When the wall was taken down, Margret Thatcher begged the Soviets to try and do whatever they could to keep the wall from falling. The wall represented two principles; it wasn't only to prevent East Germans escaping into the West, it was also a comfort blanket for the Allies because it meant the Soviets would probably cease interest in spreading their Soviet ideologies across Germany. So really the wall was a win win for the Soviets and the Allies, but for the people of Germany?
Despite the 20 year repression amongst the East Germans, when Günter Schabowski announced that the gates shall be opened for the East to cross over to the West on 9 November 1989, there was no hesitation, people collected themselves at the edge of the wall and united they crossed over into the arms of the West. That for me is the true spirit. That for me is man-kind no longer letting themselves be bullied. That for me is purity with soul and heart and love. To do whatever it takes.
I guess you can say, that although we have governmental structures to keep people under some kind of illusive control, we really are the leaders assisting the politicians and not the other way around. At least that's my ideology. However naive that may be. And I understand, to know true freedom you have to grow up with it. I also understand that there are belief systems in countries where freedom is a paradise that one works towards instead of attaining it daily.
We are the nation, we are the country, we make the money, we create the life and the happiness. It's ok to be led, but leaders should still know that without their people, they cease to be leaders. And maybe sometimes we have to remind them of that.
I wish for everyone to feel their true human spirit everyday, that the real leader and the real power comes from within.
Sunday, 9 January 2011
Mis-Matched
Your mornings are my evenings,
it's when you sleep and I awake.
Your breakfasts are my dinners,
it's when you eat and I stay hungry.
Your writing is when I think,
it's when you prosper and I observe.
Whenever we meet
a breeze seems to pass between us
and for a moment
we blink
and wonder,
what are we even
doing
with
each
other...
it's when you sleep and I awake.
Your breakfasts are my dinners,
it's when you eat and I stay hungry.
Your writing is when I think,
it's when you prosper and I observe.
Whenever we meet
a breeze seems to pass between us
and for a moment
we blink
and wonder,
what are we even
doing
with
each
other...
Thursday, 6 January 2011
When
When will I die
and become the ashes
you once burned
inside my heart.
When will I haunt
those words
you left trailing behind
in a shadow of disguise.
When will you realize
my flesh is yours and
the
red
that remains
will forever be stained
within our chest.
When will I take
care of those thoughts
that once scarred my soul
and melted inside your black eyes.
When will I die?
When?
When will we die?
When?
When we are nothing
and
no
more.
and become the ashes
you once burned
inside my heart.
When will I haunt
those words
you left trailing behind
in a shadow of disguise.
When will you realize
my flesh is yours and
the
red
that remains
will forever be stained
within our chest.
When will I take
care of those thoughts
that once scarred my soul
and melted inside your black eyes.
When will I die?
When?
When will we die?
When?
When we are nothing
and
no
more.
Wednesday, 5 January 2011
I Heart Berlin!
It's just been over two days and I'm already falling head over heals in love with... Berlin.
Yesterday we decided to wander around the city, get our bearings straight and embrace the atmosphere. We probably walked in total a good 9K and although it doesn't sound like a lot, most of the time our focus was on trying not to slip on the ice, so you end up using muscles you didn't think existed. We also visited the Brandenburger Tor to see where one of our gigs will be taking place; an outdoor show for a demonstration against genetic food modification.
What got me thinking the most in these last two days, is how relaxed Berlin as a city is. The streets are wide, the air is fresh and seemingly cleaner than London and there seems to be more space because there's no over-crowding. And because of this freedom within these streets of Berlin, my mind feels freer to wander around and soak everything up without having to dodge people. I've come to realize that it's taken me a good four years in London to master my creative process, because the city's so busy with hustle and bustle that I used to get distracted from my work. But here in Berlin, we set up our studio, we begin our recording, I simultaneously paint, whilst the guitars are being recorded, and I don't feel this closing wall I usually do in London, I can just focus on art. Maybe this has also to do with the fact that Ben and I can really take this month out to focus on our work without any other commitments than to each other and our art.
But I have to say, it's really nice to be able to do this adventure, to be able to feel relaxed and work away, then later pop out to a local bar, meet new people, practice my German and enjoy life the way it should be.
Our flat is also quite the gem. Wooden floors, minimalist but effective interior designing and enough rooms for us to separate for a couple of hours, work on our own things and then reunite. It's quite astounding how balanced one can feel when you have the time to focus on what matters to you the most. This is probably what every human wants and needs in order to live as long as possible. I'm feeling something stronger than just content, because I'm still motivated and ambitious, but there's peace within me as well... I always thought being content is about being at peace... But some of my friends find being content is usually a hole they've dug themselves into where the adventures in life suddenly have stopped...
So I don't know the exact words to describe what I'm feeling, but it's a mixture between love, ambition, motivation and an endless hunger.
I say feast upon life as much as your belly can handle. It's ok to be greedy as long as you're not fucking someone else over in the process.
Yesterday we decided to wander around the city, get our bearings straight and embrace the atmosphere. We probably walked in total a good 9K and although it doesn't sound like a lot, most of the time our focus was on trying not to slip on the ice, so you end up using muscles you didn't think existed. We also visited the Brandenburger Tor to see where one of our gigs will be taking place; an outdoor show for a demonstration against genetic food modification.
What got me thinking the most in these last two days, is how relaxed Berlin as a city is. The streets are wide, the air is fresh and seemingly cleaner than London and there seems to be more space because there's no over-crowding. And because of this freedom within these streets of Berlin, my mind feels freer to wander around and soak everything up without having to dodge people. I've come to realize that it's taken me a good four years in London to master my creative process, because the city's so busy with hustle and bustle that I used to get distracted from my work. But here in Berlin, we set up our studio, we begin our recording, I simultaneously paint, whilst the guitars are being recorded, and I don't feel this closing wall I usually do in London, I can just focus on art. Maybe this has also to do with the fact that Ben and I can really take this month out to focus on our work without any other commitments than to each other and our art.
But I have to say, it's really nice to be able to do this adventure, to be able to feel relaxed and work away, then later pop out to a local bar, meet new people, practice my German and enjoy life the way it should be.
Our flat is also quite the gem. Wooden floors, minimalist but effective interior designing and enough rooms for us to separate for a couple of hours, work on our own things and then reunite. It's quite astounding how balanced one can feel when you have the time to focus on what matters to you the most. This is probably what every human wants and needs in order to live as long as possible. I'm feeling something stronger than just content, because I'm still motivated and ambitious, but there's peace within me as well... I always thought being content is about being at peace... But some of my friends find being content is usually a hole they've dug themselves into where the adventures in life suddenly have stopped...
So I don't know the exact words to describe what I'm feeling, but it's a mixture between love, ambition, motivation and an endless hunger.
I say feast upon life as much as your belly can handle. It's ok to be greedy as long as you're not fucking someone else over in the process.
Thursday, 30 December 2010
Happy Positive New Year!
After a rich Christmas with Family and food up North of England amongst the snowy dunes, I now hang in Germany out in the country two hours outside Berlin.
I am surrounded by meters of snow, fluffy cats, wild horses and a log fire heating up this rustic house I've kindly been invited to. These next few days will consist of seeing the snow buried sites and getting geared up for our Berlin adventure. My band has been fortunate enough to book six gigs in the time we're here in Germany and it's come to the point where we will be probably gigging and rehearsing more than we might be able to record... So we must make sure we plan every step, not to mention some friendly visitors we will also be receiving...
I read something quite interesting today in one of my astrology texts I get from time to time via email. My virtual psychic said that most people say "I'll be happy when..." And you know what? I do that sometimes, I sometimes tell myself, "Oh I will be happy when I'm rich and famous and my bands touring the world making millions and I get my dream studio set up for our record label and we're helping other indie artists realize their dreams and when I've a family of my own..."
Thing is, these are all things that I want and that I'm working towards, but the happiness shouldn't be dependent on if these goals are achieved or not. Happiness should be achieved in the present in order to fuel your mind with energy to make these dreams come true. We shouldn't be hanging onto the past or the future, because both are none existent, they're made of air. But what isn't made of air, is the present.
At least in the present we can be sure that we have happy memories and a great future ahead.
Feeling positive in the present actually helps you achieve your goals. The positive mind is incredibly powerful. It helps set your mind straight, helps you to be able to reach those visions.
The way to remain positive and try and decrease negative thoughts is by understanding and embracing your positive emotions. The more you hang on to the positive and feel its sensation, the more your mind will stay attracted to it, addicted. And when a negative thought comes into play, learn to cast it off, tell your mind that you don't want to feel it, that you only want to feel the good things.
Someone grilled me about my band and the record label the other day and asked me if I ever worry that in the music business only a small percentage ever "make it". I told this person two VERY important things;
Number One: if I worried about people not "making it" in this industry, I wouldn't get anywhere in life and Number Two: define what "making it" even means, because as far as I'm concerned, I feel like I'm "making it" every single day!
Berlin didn't just happen, we started with an idea and we practically thought it through how we could turn it into a reality. Do you think we ever once thought "oh maybe this might be a mistake blabla"? Of course not. Life is about taking it by the horns. It will beat you down, but you don't have to let it crush you. Just get up again and be tougher. And if you can, along the way, be positive. Even those shitty gigs we experienced through and through in London, are positive, because it helped make us better, it helped teach us who to work with and who to stay away from.
So yea, I say don't think TOO much about something, just think about it enough to help you get the best out of something.
To positive minds out there, Happy New Year!
I am surrounded by meters of snow, fluffy cats, wild horses and a log fire heating up this rustic house I've kindly been invited to. These next few days will consist of seeing the snow buried sites and getting geared up for our Berlin adventure. My band has been fortunate enough to book six gigs in the time we're here in Germany and it's come to the point where we will be probably gigging and rehearsing more than we might be able to record... So we must make sure we plan every step, not to mention some friendly visitors we will also be receiving...
I read something quite interesting today in one of my astrology texts I get from time to time via email. My virtual psychic said that most people say "I'll be happy when..." And you know what? I do that sometimes, I sometimes tell myself, "Oh I will be happy when I'm rich and famous and my bands touring the world making millions and I get my dream studio set up for our record label and we're helping other indie artists realize their dreams and when I've a family of my own..."
Thing is, these are all things that I want and that I'm working towards, but the happiness shouldn't be dependent on if these goals are achieved or not. Happiness should be achieved in the present in order to fuel your mind with energy to make these dreams come true. We shouldn't be hanging onto the past or the future, because both are none existent, they're made of air. But what isn't made of air, is the present.
At least in the present we can be sure that we have happy memories and a great future ahead.
Feeling positive in the present actually helps you achieve your goals. The positive mind is incredibly powerful. It helps set your mind straight, helps you to be able to reach those visions.
The way to remain positive and try and decrease negative thoughts is by understanding and embracing your positive emotions. The more you hang on to the positive and feel its sensation, the more your mind will stay attracted to it, addicted. And when a negative thought comes into play, learn to cast it off, tell your mind that you don't want to feel it, that you only want to feel the good things.
Someone grilled me about my band and the record label the other day and asked me if I ever worry that in the music business only a small percentage ever "make it". I told this person two VERY important things;
Number One: if I worried about people not "making it" in this industry, I wouldn't get anywhere in life and Number Two: define what "making it" even means, because as far as I'm concerned, I feel like I'm "making it" every single day!
Berlin didn't just happen, we started with an idea and we practically thought it through how we could turn it into a reality. Do you think we ever once thought "oh maybe this might be a mistake blabla"? Of course not. Life is about taking it by the horns. It will beat you down, but you don't have to let it crush you. Just get up again and be tougher. And if you can, along the way, be positive. Even those shitty gigs we experienced through and through in London, are positive, because it helped make us better, it helped teach us who to work with and who to stay away from.
So yea, I say don't think TOO much about something, just think about it enough to help you get the best out of something.
To positive minds out there, Happy New Year!
Wednesday, 15 December 2010
DIY band?
I wrote 1,000 words for ABOF (A Badge of Friendship) on what my band (The Unkindness of Ravens) and record label (Sonic Fire Records) does in order to be successful! So for all you DIY bands/artists, check out this motivational piece!
http://www.abadgeoffriendship.com/blog/entry/guest-blog-the-unkindness-of-ravens
http://www.abadgeoffriendship.com/blog/entry/guest-blog-the-unkindness-of-ravens
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